Welton's appearance at a charity gala was a rousing success. Photo courtesy of Apple
HIRES AMERICAN AND MODEL
While its season is already mired in relegation-ready mediocrity on the pitch, much of the media attention around AFC Richmond has shifted to the club’s behind-the-scenes machinations, which at times seems more befitting of paparazzi car-chasers than any person attempting to cover professional sport.
The tabloid tattle revolves around an evolving love/hate triangle between Hounds owner Rebecca Welton, the eccentric American manager she inexplicably hired, Ted Lasso, and model/arch-WAG Keeley Jones who, although star striker Jamie Tartt’s now-ex, has remained a Nelson Road Stadium fixture as Richmond’s media liaison, hand-picked by Welton.
Although a successful businesswoman in her own right, Welton only inherited Richmond in a divorce settlement with its popular previous owner, Rupert Mannion. One of her first acts in charge was to masochistically recruit Lasso and his longtime sidekick Coach Beard, both of whom had experience only in the unsophisticated, violent perversion of “football” played stateside.
Perhaps best known for an ostentatious lifestyle and messy marriage to serial philanderer Mannion, Welton had never expressed much interest in football prior to Richmond falling into her lap. Nor, come to think of it, since. And she seems to have been willing, if not rooting, for Lasso to fail from the get-go.
“I feel like she’s been in our corner the whole time,” the disconcertingly affable Lasso insisted, denying any rumors of a chilly relationship. “And I if ever find out I’m wrong about that then, y’know, I’ll give you two quid.”
But lately Welton, a woman who seemingly preferred private jets and heels higher than Richmond’s league position, has shown new enthusiasm for her club. My insider sources attribute this to an unlikely kinship with the considerably younger, bubbly Jones – who, ironically, bears more than a passing resemblance to some of the very women who (allegedly) ended Welton’s marriage.
“I’m mostly confused why you feel any friendship’s unlikely,” Lasso told me. “We get along just fine, me and you!”
-Ted Lasso, on owner Welton
The only reason to pay even lip service to such peripheral gossip is that Jones, who displays an oddly Lasso-like belief in the human race, is said to have instilled in Welton a newfound respect for her hapless gaffer. If true, this could in turn impact Richmond’s fortunes on the field.
“I’m a couple of inches shorter,” mused Lasso, of Welton.
“And a few pounds heavier, from the fish and chips.”
Assistant Beard denied that Jones could have any real influence on the team, unless she “has a better right foot than I’m aware of.”
While Welton has largely cleaned house since taking over at Nelson Road, she puzzlingly retained the services of one male voice in her boardroom, Leslie Higgins: an obsequious former Mannion minion who she promoted to Director of Football Operations.
Is hapless Higgins, who was rumoured to have spent his Richmond tenure ushering in conquests for Welton’s exhusband, integral to her “lose now, lose later” strategy? On game day, Higgins was seen carousing with Lasso, Beard and recently vocal kit man Nathan Shelley in the manager’s office, and it remains to be seen what impact, if any, he will have on the fortunes of the Hounds.
Yet the charming Lasso refutes any hearsay of tanking and seems to take no concern with having Welton at the helm. It has made no difference to his day-to-day coaching he said, save for one offhanded remark he offered me:
“We feel a strong obligation to make sure that the dressing room smells nice,” he said. “Just in case she pops down.”
— Trent Crimm, Special Correspondent
This supplement was produced by Brand Publishing. It did not involve the editorial or reporting staffs of the Los Angeles Times. Contact us with comments or questions at brandpublishing@latimes.com.