If you are considering selling your home this year, you may learn something from a 37-year-old TV show.
One of my best memories of the 1970s was “M*A*S*H,” starring Alan Alda, Wayne Rogers and McLean Stevenson. The series showcased the escapades of an Army mobile surgical unit behind the front lines in Korea.
In one 1974 episode, the camp is expecting a visit from the big man himself, Gen. Douglas MacArthur. For the next couple of weeks, the entire camp was cleaning, straightening and repairing when they were not saving lives.
They even rehearsed his arrival, with Cpl. “Radar” O’Reilly playing the part of MacArthur.
Finally, the big day came.
MacArthur is seen driving down the dirt camp road, trademark corn cob pipe in his mouth.
The entire camp is out to salute him as he drives in, except he does not drive in, he drives — straight through and on down the road.
I thought of this episode in 2002 when we sold our condominium and moved to a bigger, better home and had to prepare for the appraisal.
For at least two weeks prior to the arrival of the appraiser, we scrubbed, polished and fixed. I repainted wrought-iron lawn furniture, completely renewed the ground cover in the backyard and painted our deck.
Inside, we cleaned the carpets, polished the tile floor in the kitchen and painted.
Finally, the appraiser came.
And just like MacArthur, he passed right through. I later joked to my wife that he could have done the appraisal from his car.
That was a busy year in real estate, and I am sure that the appraisers were working overtime. But it made me wonder just what it is they are looking for.
Had I known then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.
Before I tell you what appraisers should be looking for, it is important to understand their role. Doing so could help determine what improvements you wish to make before the appraiser arrives.
Though he or she may not be employed by a bank or other financial institution, the appraiser is the field representative for the enterprise that wants to use it as collateral against a loan.
Outside, the appraiser will look at the overall condition of the original construction. So, for example, if your paint is peeling or your siding is sliding, you’re going to lose points. Appraisers will also look for the condition of the landscaping, gutters and downspouts, the type and condition of your windows and doors, and especially important, the condition of your roof.
Appraisers will usually concern themselves only with your real property (the dwelling) and any permanent additions or improvements. Your above-ground spa and tool shed will usually not factor into your appraisal.
Appraisers will also confirm the square footage by measuring the square footage from the outside.
Inside is where you can save your MacArthur-style preparation. Your appraiser will not care about dirty dishes in the sink, your teenager’s unmade bed. In fact, if your teen’s room is typical, the appraiser won’t even be able to see the bed.
The appraiser will look at the floor to determine whether it has been maintained. He’ll check the heating and air conditioning units to make sure they function properly and will look to see if there is any structural neglect, often determined by mold, dry rot or peeling paint.
If you are getting serious about selling your home, focus on the big things. Doing so will save you time, trouble and money, as well as your own “MacArthur moment.”
STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to smi161@aol.com.
